Teej's Secret Box

Normally, I do not establish resolutions as I do not think that it is critical, but in this junction of my life, it is indeed necessary to get a good number of things done in order to advance my career, firm up my love, protect my family, and enrichen our lives.

Work Resolutions:

• Complete my QualityStage certification.
• Complete my IIS 8.0 certification.
• Complete my Business Glossary certification.
• Continue to improve my performance at work by building and satisfying daily/weekly objectives.

Personal Resolutions:

• Re-establish a budget that is based on type of expenditures, not on amount of expenditure, perhaps with the use of a budget tool.
• Complete my will and update all benefactory information.
• Work to help Heather succeed in obtaining her bachelor degree.
• Help our kids get back on track with their schoolwork.
• Continue to form a consistent method of recording our needs, and building a schedule to complete our needs (using “Getting it Done” method).
• Take a photography class this summer (depending on what is available).
• Take an extended trip oversea in the summer/fall period (Perhaps Japan?)  As part of this, prepare by trying to meet deaf folks in those countries, and employing their help in determining fun things to do.

And finally:

• Continue to contribute to this blog. 

May your new year be as joyous if not more so than your past year.

Note:  This was written on December 23rd, but not posted until now due to myself being so busy with the family.

My, what an interesting year it has been for myself, this Year of the Recession Part LXVIII (basically, we have gone through this before, and life will get better if you work at your skills (improving and/or expanding), and continue to ensure that everyone is aware of your skills and desire to help them).  We got a new president elected, and we’re witnessing the fall of our banks and auto makers.  Some of my friends have been laid off, as many companies quickly move to protect their positions in this economy.

I did not help my position by slacking off, especially in a critical deadline junction at one customer.  My scrambling to save the project fell woefully short, and my company had to bring in a guy who previously quit while working for the same client only to come back later on.  However, I hope that my efforts the past few months, especially the past 3 weeks, have been fruitful to help recover some of the damaged reputations.

I do need to finish one more certification test, and start studying on a different one.  Even though I am on vacation the next two weeks, this needs to be done, so I will have this done.

I have only taken one trip out of the country this year — to Aruba, which was a delight, especially in the culinary sense.  However, in exchange for the trips I usually take, I ended up finding the love of my life.

A long time ago, a friend by the name of Amy Lynn Edwards (Peterson), who was strong with intuition, noted to me that I have already met the love of my life, just that I have not realized it at that time.  That memory stuck with me, even in my disbelief.  I chose to try out the dating websites, and became more social in the deaf world in Phoenix.  But both never really panned out.  Early in this year, I decided to just stop searching, and start experiencing life the way I want to live it.  I flirted mercilessly with a female friend of mine, with no luck (a common refrain everyone probably experienced.)

Then a grade school classmate found me on Facebook.  In fact, quite a few classmates found me on Facebook, but this one is from Salt Lake City, and is a successful deaf culinary chef at a five-star hotel there, a long way from his troubles back in school.  Amazed and highly impressed, I caught up on the news with him, and was reconnected to a few other classmates, including her.

Heather and I started talking, and we both realized that she was going to pay Salt Lake City a visit.  I thought that it was cool enough to experience a new city with two of my old friends, so we decided to set plans for me to swing by for a weekend.

But a funny thing happened during this planning phase — we ended up talking deep into the nights.  Once we met in person, I fell in love with her.  It wasn’t the type of lusting after that I experienced in the past, but a matter of, “yes, she is the one.”  I keep hearing my friends saying the same, and many pundits talking about this phenoma, but I couldn’t quite believe it until I actually experienced it.

We connected in so many ways, and her flaws were not an issue for me, just as mine is not for her.  Within three months due to several circumstances, she begun to live with me at my home.  In just a couple of days, her two kids will join us.

The past half of year have to be the best half year of my life.  The initial lust have evolved into such a deep undying love.  I felt a need to be with my love as much as I could, which lead me to weekends being spent with her, instead of elsewhere.  I am ready to sacrifice my life in order to better the lives of my family as much as is reasonably necessary.  I cares for our kids, and hope they will care for me in return.

It is amazing, this feeling I am blessed with.  I can only hope it’ll last for a very long time.

How was your year?  Please feel free to share.

With best wishes for a safe holiday for all of our friends and families –

For years, I have been telling myself, “Self, when I get a wife, and kids, I will have to retire from traveling on the road, because I can not imagine being without them.”

There are far too many stories by the media of kids with their dad being on the road for days on to the end, bemoaning the loss of their father, and whatever guilt-laden reasoning for their own failings due to the absence of their poppa.

It have been over four weeks since Heather moved in with me. Just last week, I came up with a realization that even in this world, this issue is not quite as black and white as I thought it would be. You see, by traveling, I bring myself out of that house for days on to the end, allowing Heather and myself to be able to do our own things.

We are a very intimate pair of people, longing to touch and hug and be with each other. This desire cut into our own pre-existing needs to get things done. Bills, repairs, errands, and to-do lists are one thing that we need to take care of. However, it is self-reflection, doing our own things, and returning to our own worlds that are also very important for ourselves. While we enjoy talking with each other to a great extent, we also have many friends and families that we treasure to a great extent.

And the greatest thing about traveling? We get to experience reuniting with each other every week. How cool is that, eh?

What would you say to a relationship that was born out of a woman who was married with a guy and a single man, ending up with the married guy pushing the woman out, despite previously approving of this relationship, and the woman moving in with the single guy after knowing each other for only 2 1/2 months at a distance?

Whatever it is, I am experiencing it. As the single guy in question.

Yes, I do love her, but… I definitely did not expect any of this to happen. It just does, from the very beginning.

It’s so funny, I gave up looking for women earlier this year, and bam, she comes in the picture, as a former classmate from school (younger than myself, thou). She got pregnant after high school, and married the father, had another kid, and had an open relationship with him.

Then she met me. And now she’s still adjusting on being away from her kids, even though she’s a lot less stressed out by being away from him and being with me these days.

And damn, isn’t the lovemaking the best thing I have ever experienced?!

Experiencing this from this role have really opened my eyes to new aspect of this kind of relationships.

(Naturally, there are plenty who hate either her, me or us for what have happened.)

Special Note:  Please take some time to read the following posts before reading this one, they are all posted immediately below this post:  Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.

* * *

We all make choices out of many different reasons.

Some are rational.  Some are not quite as rational.

Some are planned.  Some are not quite as planned.

When it comes to love, far too many people would gladly tell you that they knew from the moment they met a person that they would marry him/her.  A dear friend of mine who had sex with hundreds of women, and is known as a playboy suddenly found himself very monogamous, and very faithful to a wonderful wife he just married a couple months ago, simply because he knew from the first night that she will be his wife.

I saw Heather in person.  I fell in love with Heather.  It is still early, so I am still being a bit cautious.  However, unlike any other women, I have felt that I could trust her completely.  No, not like the other women I’ve loved — completely.  Does it matter that she has a different person in her life too?  Yes, it does matter to a great deal that we must work with each other.  It is a difficult challenge, and not one that would work on many people.

But I do not follow any cultural norms of my society.  I follow the beat to my own drummer, just as those nijab-wearing American women.  I realize that life is not skewed like those “religious” people would like you to believe.

And most importantly of all, I will NOT hold the details back; especially with people I love and care about, even though it may not be something they want to hear.

Heed my words well:  Do not lie on my behalf.  I am open because I feel true with my situation at this time.  If it does not work out, it would suck — but that is all part of life.  Do not lie and cover the fact that we are all different.  Work toward an openness, acceptance, and love for your fellow people, especially your own family.

To those that have accepted this — thank you.  You are indeed friends I am blessed of knowing.