*turn* Hmm, cold. *turn* Still cold. *turn* Yup, too cold. *turn* HOLY FRACKIN’ BRIAN! It’s too hot!
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The room service patron still standing there expecting a tip, despite the automatic 18% gift they already added.
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The little things the cleaning person would overlook. Most of the time, it’s silly, such as not folding the toilet paper, and forgetting to resupply the shampoo bottle. Other times, it’s downright obscene such as forgetting the towels, and in some cases, not even cleaning the room!
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Don’t you have the feeling hotels want to just kill you as soon as possible? Look at the food they provide. Fried foods, heart-clogging snacks, and salads overdosed with cheese and heavy dressings. Healthy breakfast? Heck no, bring on the hearty continental meal! No V8. Few diet drinks. Want that water bottle in your room? Pay 4x the price of a Coke, sir. Sure does drive me to drink, but no! The minibar is removed. Of course, that water was imported. Imported, my butt. It have been imported from the great bang billions of years ago — are you paying God for the license fee?
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$10 Internet fees. But wait! They are more than happy to throw in free long distance phone calls in that bill! How so nice of them. But those hotels that got free net? Free dialup-speed net, more likely.
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When you decide to get up early in the morning to burn off that cholestrol you ate last night at the hotel bar, you will realize that there’s 300 others with the same brilliant idea as you do, and 2 stairmasters, 1 treadmill, and a heavy ball to occupy everyone for the next 30 minutes.
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The add-on features on their TV. And the absence of honest-to-god good channels, such as Discovery Channel. Who do you know still use that internet-on-TV feature? When is the last time you paid $24.95 and allowed it to show up on your hotel bill for some honest-to-goodness hearty shows?
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Loud sex next door. When you are between girlfriends. Nuff said.
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When those hotels will ever figure out that giving you 30 pillows, and only 2 of them are actually meant for sleeping… that’s going a wee bit too far.
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When someone call in for a wake-up call, and gave your room number instead of their… maybe they should at least check on the names of the occupants in the room or something. Thanks to myself being deaf, I’ve had my room barged in by hotel folks in panic because they couldn’t wake me up and thought I may be dead or something.
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Speaking of waking up, hotels that does not provide outlets easily accessible to the bedside for alarm clocks that you prefers instead of their $5 tiny radio thing. (Yes, I know Hilton have the iPod clock. They also have the TV with $14.95 N64 games and no closed captioning. So shut up.)
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I’ve had some hotels with bed bug problems. Never ever liked those. I always told the folks right away when I notice.
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Vegas-related: I know you want me to see the casino, but why do you have to make it a huge journey for me to find the elevator to my room?
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Disneyland-related: Having a Mickey Mouse theme is one thing. Having Mickey Mouse hands reaching out from the wall to hold up bowls and lights… is a wee bit too creepy.
